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Bug is napping so I have a few minutes to update.
Bug has officially been walking for TWO WEEKS!!! She is no longer a baby, but a toddler :( But that is ok because her little face just lights up everytime she walks across the room. She has also added a few words to her vocabulary. She can say dada, mama!, gacie (gracie), woof woof (dog), and she thinks it is hilarious to call J by his first name! She is just getting so big, and it is amazing how much she loves her sister.
Had my first official appointment with my OB/GYN today. I am 11 weeks along. Everything looks good, except that I did lose 6 lbs in the last 4 weeks. I honestly have no idea how since I eat every two hours. The baby is doing well and I got to hear the heartbeat! It was just so reassuring. This pregnancy has been pretty easy except that I am sooooo tired all the time! I seriously pass out by 10:30pm every night and sleep until about 9am. Then I am exhausted all day long. I know you are supposed to be tired during pregnancy but I do not remember being this tired with the girls.
BooBoo is still as amazing as ever and hopefully she will have an update coming soon!
Showing posts with label Bug. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bug. Show all posts
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Lost, confused and feeling like a failure
Bug's 12 month check up was Monday (even though she is now 13 1/2 months old). I am still a little emotional about the whole situation. Bug's weight is of MAJOR concern. She has always been tiny but between her 9 month checkup and now she has gain ONE pound!!! I feed her 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks and she eats nearly everything. When we met with the doctor in May he said Bug would be fine to switch to whole milk at 12 months. Just make sure a little at a time and monitor her. So about 2-3 weeks after her first birthday we started the switch to milk with what I thought were no problems. The doctor thinks that Bug either has a milk allergy, lactose intolerance or she might be allergic to gluten. Since she has been on milk for less time than the wheat, he told me to pull her off milk and switch her to soy formula for the next month to see if that helps her weight gain at all. I'm just so confused, depressed and guilty about everything. I feel like I did something wrong. Like I don't feed her enough, even though I KNOW she is well-fed. That my breastmilk didn't have enough calories for her little body (already a concern the doctor expressed in the past). I just want her to be healthy and I love her so much but it sucks not knowing what is causing her slow growth.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sometimes I think I regret the birth methods I chose...
I have been fighting some regret lately about both my girls births. While J and I have been working on baby #3, I have been researching everything I can about VBACs. I know in my heart that is what I want at the end of our next pregnancy (whenever that may be). I have gone through labor, been dilated to 10cm and even pushed but never had the chance to complete a vaginal birth. I feel like it is all my fault for the way BooBoo's birth turned out and while most days it does not bother me, others I feel like a failure.
With BooBoo, I was young and uneducated in the labor and delivery department. I had wanted to take birth classes but J felt that we did not need them and we did not have the money. As two college students this was slightly understandable. When I went into labor with BooBoo I had no idea what to expect. My water broke on it's own (with meconium present) and I remeber being given Pitocin when I got to the hospital. I vaguely remember the painful contractions (which I now know was the transition phase) and agreeing to the epidural; which I had wanted under no circumstances. When I started pushing, I had no clue what to do. The nurses were of no help, they offered no words of advice or encouragement. After 15 hours of labor and three hours of pushing, I was told I would be having an emergency cesarean for "failure to progress". The experience of the cesarean was awful. I remembering telling the anesthesiologist that I was going to throw up and her arguing with me until I had her running for a bowl. After BooBoo was pulled from me I got to see her for about two seconds after they cleaned her up. Then I was given drugs to knock me out and J said it seriously looked like I was dead. Back in the recovery room I did not want to wake up. It was so hard to come out of the fog of the drugs I was given. I don't even remember my family coming in to see me because I was so out of it. BooBoo was brought in about an hour after the birth to eat but I could not feed her. I just wanted to sleep. So I agreed to let the nurses give her a bottle. About two hours of rest and I was ready for my baby. We tried to breastfeed and after a couple of beginner's latch problems we were off and running. I know that J gave her a bottle at one point but she threw everything back up immediately so we stuck with breastfeeding only. I had a rough recovery and wish things had been different. I regret not taking birth classes or doing more research. But you cannot change the past.
When I first pregnant with Bug I was told by my OB that she would be a repeat cesarean. Which I was fine with except for the voice at the very dark corner of my mind telling me to ask about a VBAC. After my labor with BooBoo I did not think I could go through all of labor only to have to have a cesarean anyways. I set the date for Bug's birth (too early now that I reflect) and started preparing for my repeat c-section. When the day came I was prepped for surgery and given a spinal. When I felt like I would throw up the anesthesiologist explained to me why I felt like that, putting me a little at ease. I loved being able to see Bug's little face lifted over the dressings right after she was born. I was wide awake for recovery and able to nurse Bug almost immediately. I was up and walking the next day. I was constantly told by the nurses how amazed they were at my progress. One even asked "Are you sure you just had a c-section?" After we came home from the hospital I started to think about VBACs again. I thought about how perfect my pregnancy with Bug had been and how well I was recovering from the cesarean. I think that I could have had her vaginally if I had been allowed. Again, you cannot change the past.
I decided that if J and I had anymore children I would want VBACs. So before we even began trying to conceive I started researching. Because I will have my VBAC and not because of regrets or missed opportunities but because it is what I want. I want to be able to say that I did it, I succeeded. And now that I am even more into the trying to get pregnant and doing research area, I am slowly becoming more open to another birth option, homebirth.
I never thought I would say that homebirth is something I might want to try. I remeber wanting a water birth with BooBoo but it was not an option with my OB. The thought of using a midwife and giving birth in my own home freaked me out. I know that I watched an episode of TLC's A Baby Story where the homebirth had problems and 911 had to be called. It scared me that I would not have emergency services while delivering. But now I am researching homebirths and midwives in addition to VBACs. I still am deciding what I want but I know that when I finally am pregnant again I will be interviewing OB/GYNs and midwives and exploring all options. Because I don't want to regret a decision just to please a doctor. I love my girls and am so glad that they are here, no matter what birth method we used. I just wish things had started out differently is all.
J knows that I want a VBAC and I know that he will agree to it because he knows it is what I want. He will read whatever research I give him and he will educate himself. But I have NO idea how to bring up the possiblity of a homebirth to him. Maybe I will wait until we are actually pregant and are interviewing midwives. I don't know but I do know that we are taking a break from babymaking until at least December so I have plenty of time to talk.
With BooBoo, I was young and uneducated in the labor and delivery department. I had wanted to take birth classes but J felt that we did not need them and we did not have the money. As two college students this was slightly understandable. When I went into labor with BooBoo I had no idea what to expect. My water broke on it's own (with meconium present) and I remeber being given Pitocin when I got to the hospital. I vaguely remember the painful contractions (which I now know was the transition phase) and agreeing to the epidural; which I had wanted under no circumstances. When I started pushing, I had no clue what to do. The nurses were of no help, they offered no words of advice or encouragement. After 15 hours of labor and three hours of pushing, I was told I would be having an emergency cesarean for "failure to progress". The experience of the cesarean was awful. I remembering telling the anesthesiologist that I was going to throw up and her arguing with me until I had her running for a bowl. After BooBoo was pulled from me I got to see her for about two seconds after they cleaned her up. Then I was given drugs to knock me out and J said it seriously looked like I was dead. Back in the recovery room I did not want to wake up. It was so hard to come out of the fog of the drugs I was given. I don't even remember my family coming in to see me because I was so out of it. BooBoo was brought in about an hour after the birth to eat but I could not feed her. I just wanted to sleep. So I agreed to let the nurses give her a bottle. About two hours of rest and I was ready for my baby. We tried to breastfeed and after a couple of beginner's latch problems we were off and running. I know that J gave her a bottle at one point but she threw everything back up immediately so we stuck with breastfeeding only. I had a rough recovery and wish things had been different. I regret not taking birth classes or doing more research. But you cannot change the past.
When I first pregnant with Bug I was told by my OB that she would be a repeat cesarean. Which I was fine with except for the voice at the very dark corner of my mind telling me to ask about a VBAC. After my labor with BooBoo I did not think I could go through all of labor only to have to have a cesarean anyways. I set the date for Bug's birth (too early now that I reflect) and started preparing for my repeat c-section. When the day came I was prepped for surgery and given a spinal. When I felt like I would throw up the anesthesiologist explained to me why I felt like that, putting me a little at ease. I loved being able to see Bug's little face lifted over the dressings right after she was born. I was wide awake for recovery and able to nurse Bug almost immediately. I was up and walking the next day. I was constantly told by the nurses how amazed they were at my progress. One even asked "Are you sure you just had a c-section?" After we came home from the hospital I started to think about VBACs again. I thought about how perfect my pregnancy with Bug had been and how well I was recovering from the cesarean. I think that I could have had her vaginally if I had been allowed. Again, you cannot change the past.
I decided that if J and I had anymore children I would want VBACs. So before we even began trying to conceive I started researching. Because I will have my VBAC and not because of regrets or missed opportunities but because it is what I want. I want to be able to say that I did it, I succeeded. And now that I am even more into the trying to get pregnant and doing research area, I am slowly becoming more open to another birth option, homebirth.
I never thought I would say that homebirth is something I might want to try. I remeber wanting a water birth with BooBoo but it was not an option with my OB. The thought of using a midwife and giving birth in my own home freaked me out. I know that I watched an episode of TLC's A Baby Story where the homebirth had problems and 911 had to be called. It scared me that I would not have emergency services while delivering. But now I am researching homebirths and midwives in addition to VBACs. I still am deciding what I want but I know that when I finally am pregnant again I will be interviewing OB/GYNs and midwives and exploring all options. Because I don't want to regret a decision just to please a doctor. I love my girls and am so glad that they are here, no matter what birth method we used. I just wish things had started out differently is all.
J knows that I want a VBAC and I know that he will agree to it because he knows it is what I want. He will read whatever research I give him and he will educate himself. But I have NO idea how to bring up the possiblity of a homebirth to him. Maybe I will wait until we are actually pregant and are interviewing midwives. I don't know but I do know that we are taking a break from babymaking until at least December so I have plenty of time to talk.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Roseola? Oh No!
My beautiful little Bug has Roseola.
*For those who do not know what Roseola is, it's a virus whose characteristics are a super high fever for 3-5 days and then after the fever breaks, a rash that starts on the trunk then spreads.
Bug woke up Wednesday very cranky and feverish. I figured she had finally caught the cold that was going around. Since we had managed to purchase our first woven wrap recently (a Neobulle Noah 3.6), I wrapped Bug up nice and snug to me. She fell asleep within minutes and slept most of the day. Thursday and Friday were more of the same. Babywearing really came to the rescue during those few days. By Saturday, Bug's fever had broken and her irritablilty had become even worse (just in time for our friend's wedding). She only had one screeching fit before the ceremony and slept through the entire ceremony. By the time we made it home Saturday night Bug had developed a rash on her back and chest. I thought it was heat rash from being in the wrap for so long but it was even worse Sunday. Bug has a rash on her back, chest, neck and face. Her face is actually the worst. I was very worried so after a trip to the ER, we found out it was Roseola.
The rash is the end of the virus and can last a few days to a few months! I am hoping Bug's is only for a few days. We were told to keep an eye on her and to let our friends with small children know only if Bug had been in contact with them. Roseola is contagious from a few days before the fever starts until a couple days after the fever breaks. The good news they told is that Roseola is similar to Chickenpox. Once you've had it once, you are likely to be immune to it for the rest of your life.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The 1st Birthday Party
We held Bug's first birthday party at Delaware State Park in Delaware, OH on Saturday. We did not have over the top decorations and I made the cupcakes. We had close friends and family attend because Bug is still at the iffy stage with people. It was a great party and here's how it went down.
The nice thing about having the party at the park was that the big kids could play on the playground while everyone was eating. After the party, a few of us went to the other side of the park to go swimming in the lake. The girls love to go swimming so they were very disappointed when we got out to dry off and head home. It's nice to be able to have an outdoor party. With BooBoo's birthday being in March we never know what the weather will be like. We had to cancel her 2nd birthday party (an indoor pool party at the local Y) because we ended up under a Level 3 snow emergency for 3 days. For those who don't know a Level 3 means no one on the road other than emergency personnel. 
2:00am the night before the party, I am up finishing cupcakes because I insisted on making them myself. I wanted to cupcakes to look like a ladybug but we did not use red or black frosting (little kids and coloring = no bueno). So I used strawberry and chocolate frosting instead. The cupcakes would have turned out fine at the party if the pink frosting had not come off half the cucakes :*( I was so devastated but J said it would be fine. Nobody even noticed that the cake looked like a ladybug so whatever.
J's mom got us 10lbs of Arby's roast beef and a case of buns for the party. We had sandwiches, chips, pasta salad and drinks. Nothing major, just enough to fill our bellies. Poor Bug was getting tired so we went ahead and sang Happy Birthday to her after lunch. She got about half way through the cupcake and then started bawling. 
We took a break so I could nurse her and of course she passed out. Knowing that she normally takes an hour nap, we went ahead and let BooBoo open Bug's presents kind of as a proxy. She was given quite a few outfits and a couple toys. 
The nice thing about having the party at the park was that the big kids could play on the playground while everyone was eating. After the party, a few of us went to the other side of the park to go swimming in the lake. The girls love to go swimming so they were very disappointed when we got out to dry off and head home. It's nice to be able to have an outdoor party. With BooBoo's birthday being in March we never know what the weather will be like. We had to cancel her 2nd birthday party (an indoor pool party at the local Y) because we ended up under a Level 3 snow emergency for 3 days. For those who don't know a Level 3 means no one on the road other than emergency personnel. Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
1 Year of Breastfeeding!
In honor of World Breastfeeding Week and the fact that my youngest daughter's birthday is in the same week, I thought I would write a short post about my 2nd time around.
With my oldest daughter, BooBoo, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I read all about the benefits, pros, cons and everything in between. She and I had a few problems but we managed to breastfeed for an amazing 14 months. When we found out that we were expecting Bug there was no question as to whether we would breastfeed or not. So, I re-read some of my old information, learned as much new information as I could and mentally prepared myself. August 5, 2009 Bug was born and so began my second journey with breastfeeding.
The very first time she nursed, she latched on beautifully. Then we started to have a few problems when my milk came in. I met with the local Lactation Consultant who informed me that my nipples were too large for Bug's little mouth. The LC said that once Bug got bigger we would have no problems but for the time being I would need to double check her latch everytime. Then when Bug was 10 days old I suffered through a bout of mastitis. That is something I would not wish on anyone. The mastitis put a damper on my supply but through pumping and extra nursing I slowly built it back up. I went back to work part-time when Bug was 2 months old. For 3 1/2 months (until I quit my job) J fought Bug and the bottle. She would NOT take the bottle no matter how hard we tried. I had to pump extra just to keep my supply up and it all just became too much to handle so J and I decided that I would stay home with the girls. My next joy in breastfeeding was teething. Bug would fuss at the boob and only nurse for a few minutes at a time. She also bit me once hard enough to draw blood. But after a firm NO and Mommy crying, she never bit me again. We are now at 12 months of breastfeeding and Bug is still on the boob 4-5 times a day. It sounds like a lot but it is just: first thing when we wake up, at first nap, at second nap, before bed and either once before I go to bed or one extra time during the day.
I am slightly dreading the day that she weans completely. I love our cuddle time and really am not ready to give that up. But it will be nice to buy some cute bras from Victoria's Secret and actually get to wear them. I love being a breastfeeding mom and would not change anything.
With my oldest daughter, BooBoo, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I read all about the benefits, pros, cons and everything in between. She and I had a few problems but we managed to breastfeed for an amazing 14 months. When we found out that we were expecting Bug there was no question as to whether we would breastfeed or not. So, I re-read some of my old information, learned as much new information as I could and mentally prepared myself. August 5, 2009 Bug was born and so began my second journey with breastfeeding.
The very first time she nursed, she latched on beautifully. Then we started to have a few problems when my milk came in. I met with the local Lactation Consultant who informed me that my nipples were too large for Bug's little mouth. The LC said that once Bug got bigger we would have no problems but for the time being I would need to double check her latch everytime. Then when Bug was 10 days old I suffered through a bout of mastitis. That is something I would not wish on anyone. The mastitis put a damper on my supply but through pumping and extra nursing I slowly built it back up. I went back to work part-time when Bug was 2 months old. For 3 1/2 months (until I quit my job) J fought Bug and the bottle. She would NOT take the bottle no matter how hard we tried. I had to pump extra just to keep my supply up and it all just became too much to handle so J and I decided that I would stay home with the girls. My next joy in breastfeeding was teething. Bug would fuss at the boob and only nurse for a few minutes at a time. She also bit me once hard enough to draw blood. But after a firm NO and Mommy crying, she never bit me again. We are now at 12 months of breastfeeding and Bug is still on the boob 4-5 times a day. It sounds like a lot but it is just: first thing when we wake up, at first nap, at second nap, before bed and either once before I go to bed or one extra time during the day.
I am slightly dreading the day that she weans completely. I love our cuddle time and really am not ready to give that up. But it will be nice to buy some cute bras from Victoria's Secret and actually get to wear them. I love being a breastfeeding mom and would not change anything.
Happy Birthday, Brynley!!!
One, 1, One, 1, One....
I have been repeating this to myself for the past week and I still cannot believe that my little Bug is officially a year old. I know it sounds cliche to say that it feels like only yesterday that we were at the hospital loving our newest bundle of joy but that really is how it feels. I remember going through the c-section and the minute that bloody, chubby little face was lifted crying over the dressings for me to see, just bawling. She was so beautiful and I was so happy that she was healthy. I was taken to recovery and told to get an hour of rest but after 20 minutes the nurses knew I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon so they brought me Bug. The nurses knew we were going to breastfeed and wanted no bottles so as soon as she was in my arms we decided to nurse. She latched on perfectly the first time! The nurses were in shock that she did so well. J came in a awhile later to let me know Bug's measurements (nobody had yet); 6lb 15oz and 19in long.
Fast forward to today. Bug is hitting every milestone (in her own time, of course) and she is thisclose to walking on her own. Her favorite person in the world is her big sister, BooBoo. She has to follow her everywhere, whether BooBoo likes it or not. In addition to cruising, Bug can dance and she has started climbing stairs. Eeek! We have baby gates galore and I even have to take them with us when we visit family. Her favorite thing to do is pick up a phone and go "Hi Ya!". It is absolutely adorable!!! I cannot wait to see how she grows over the next year.
Happy Birthday, Brynley Eleanor (a.k.a Bug)!!!!!
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